Thursday, December 10, 2009
I'm Thankful Days #29 and #30
Ok, I've been working on this post since yesterday, so I'm making it day 29 and 30. That may be cheating, but I don't care since it's my blog and I get to make the rules!
If you had told me 4 years ago I'd be writing this post today, I'd have told you that you probably had fallen and hit your head. I would then have laughed. Today I'm thankful for Carol, my stepmother. Our relationship has been, well...how do I put it...um....rocky. That honestly doesn't even begin to describe it. In fact, her and my dad have been married for 28 (I think) years. We've spent almost all of them not talking. In fact, most of my life we weren't even able to be in the same room together. We had sort of a mutual unspoken agreement that we just stayed away from each other. We didn't live together when I was growing up, I was raised by my aunt and uncle (that's a whole different long story). As a result of the tension between my stepmother and I, I had no relationship with my brothers, my sister or my dad. Fortunately for all of us, that changed when I got pregnant with Adelae. It took some urging from my sister, but slowly the lines of communication opened up. It started with a phone call, that's it. One simple little phone call. The words "I'm Sorry" were never spoken, but in this case they didn't have to be. A simple phone call was enough to start our troubled relationship down the road to recovery. And it didn't take too long either. Within a few months, she was helping me plan my wedding and even playing a major role. I can remember the exact moment I knew we had a relationship. Oddly enough, it was a disagreement that made me realize it. I had a few things I needed to get off of my chest and I thought "may as well speak my mind, what do I have to lose." I couldn't believe it! We heard each other out, there was no fighting, no screaming, no tears, nada! It was an actual discussion and I think we came away from it with a better understanding of each other. We were also both able to realize that a third party had conspired to keep our relationship as rocky as possible. As the last few years have passed, I've learned so much about the woman that she is. I can appreciate her for that, and I know that it's ok if I don't agree with every thing she says or does; just like it's ok if she doesn't agree with everything I say and do. My girls have a fantastic relationship with her, my dad, my brothers, sister and all their kids. I can't even begin to express how I feel when I hear her say things like "I'm doing this because I love you" or "This is my daughter." We may never have a true mother/daughter relationship, but I'm ok with that. We have something that I never thought we'd have...we're friends. I thank God every single day that he put healing and forgiveness in both our hearts. So, today I write a post I never thought I'd write because today I'm thankful for my stepmother.