Thursday, February 17, 2011

The one where I talk about weight

Last year I started working out. (Remember this post?) I did really well for about 2 months. I didn't work out every day, but I averaged about 5 days a week. Not too shabby for someone that hates exercise!

Then I weighed myself.

There's a reason why I don't own a scale. I hadn't lost a single solitary pound. Not one. Not even half a pound. Nothing. Nada. After all my hard work I was still the exact same weight I was when I started. I was crushed. I tried to blow it off and say "Oh, but my jeans fit better and that's all that matters." I didn't believe it. I wanted to have lost weight. Not a lot, just a few pounds.

So, I stopped working out. I figured what was the point? If I wasn't going to lose any weight than why should I even bother? If I wasn't losing any weight, why couldn't I just sit on the couch and eat cake? That's what I'd rather be doing, not sweating and grunting and feeling sore.

Then I started thinking about what my weight REALLY means. Is the number on the scale that important? I'm 5' 1" tall and at my thinnest I was 130 lbs. After 2 kids, I'm stuck at 150 lbs. I can't seem to get below that weight. According to the research I've done, that means that I'm obese. My jaw hit the floor when I saw that. Obese? I know I'm a little...jiggly, but obese? I mean really? Obese? What the hell?! I started feeling really depressed. Then and there I decided that I wasn't going to let the number on the scale determine who I was or how I felt about myself.

I knew that when I was working out that I felt better. I knew that I was losing inches because I had to wear a belt to keep my jeans from falling off. For the first time in years, I actually had muscles! So, I decided to start working out again. In turn, I'm making healthier food choices.

I have no idea if I've lost weight, and this time around I truly don't care. I'm focused on the way I look and the way I feel, not a number on the scale. My genes have predetermined that I'm never going to be stick thin. I'm always going to have curves. I love my curves! They're what attracted Ben to me in the first place. Why would I want to get rid of them?

I'm slowly learning to embrace the body that God has given me. I might be 150 lbs, but I'm determined to make that 150 lbs look good!

Friday, February 4, 2011

Conversations with Brinna


Now that Brinna has hit the 18 month mark, her vocabulary has really expanded. She repeats almost everything we say, which is good and bad. Good because she's learning lots of new words. Bad because sometimes words slip out that she's not suppose to hear. I really do try to watch what I say, but sometimes the occasional bad word pops out. The other day I think she was walking around saying "Oh, sh!t." I pretended to think it was something else ;)

Her favorite thing to say is "Adelae." She's hit the phase where she knows that things belong to people. She spends most of the day bringing us our belongings, whether we want them or not.

This first video is just a little chat that Brinna and I had.

Brinna loves her baby dolls. She has a ton of them and they all get loved and played with throughout the day. It's so cute to see her playing Mommy. She was playing with her baby yesterday and, for once, I was quick enough with the camera to shoot a video.