Every year around this time I start pondering my faith. It's not that I don't believe in God, because I do. I was brought up Catholic. I was extremely active in my church until sometime in high school. I think I quit going regularly about mid way through my jr. year. Since then, I've flirted with church, but I've never really made a serious commitment. I have to admit that I wanted to start attending before Adelae was born, but I was ashamed. I was an unwed mother-to-be. Catholisism tends to look down on that. After Adelae was born, we did actually try a church. It was a Church of Christ and just wasn't the right fit for us. So, at the start of Lent, I once again began thinking about my less than stellar church attendance. I kept saying I was going to go. "This Sunday" I would say to myself "is the Sunday I go to church." It never happened. So, today (Sunday) I woke up, had my coffee and went to church. It was nice. Not earth shattering, but the Gospel did touch me in a certain way. It was a reading about a blind man that was made to see. It's, in my opinion, a metaphor for our sins. If we're blind, we are unaware of our sins and, coincedentally, can't repent and be saved. I've been pondering the message all day. It seems that redemption really can be had by all, as long as we are willing to recognize and admit to our sins.
Sorry, kind of got side tracked there :) I do miss church. I miss the church society. I'm also a little embarassed that Adelae hasn't been baptized yet. So, I plan on attending again next week. I liked the pastor and the other moms in the cry room seemed nice. Hopefully I'll be able to stick with it this time.