Last year I started working out. (Remember this post?) I did really well for about 2 months. I didn't work out every day, but I averaged about 5 days a week. Not too shabby for someone that hates exercise!
Then I weighed myself.
There's a reason why I don't own a scale. I hadn't lost a single solitary pound. Not one. Not even half a pound. Nothing. Nada. After all my hard work I was still the exact same weight I was when I started. I was crushed. I tried to blow it off and say "Oh, but my jeans fit better and that's all that matters." I didn't believe it. I wanted to have lost weight. Not a lot, just a few pounds.
So, I stopped working out. I figured what was the point? If I wasn't going to lose any weight than why should I even bother? If I wasn't losing any weight, why couldn't I just sit on the couch and eat cake? That's what I'd rather be doing, not sweating and grunting and feeling sore.
Then I started thinking about what my weight REALLY means. Is the number on the scale that important? I'm 5' 1" tall and at my thinnest I was 130 lbs. After 2 kids, I'm stuck at 150 lbs. I can't seem to get below that weight. According to the research I've done, that means that I'm obese. My jaw hit the floor when I saw that. Obese? I know I'm a little...jiggly, but obese? I mean really? Obese? What the hell?! I started feeling really depressed. Then and there I decided that I wasn't going to let the number on the scale determine who I was or how I felt about myself.
I knew that when I was working out that I felt better. I knew that I was losing inches because I had to wear a belt to keep my jeans from falling off. For the first time in years, I actually had muscles! So, I decided to start working out again. In turn, I'm making healthier food choices.
I have no idea if I've lost weight, and this time around I truly don't care. I'm focused on the way I look and the way I feel, not a number on the scale. My genes have predetermined that I'm never going to be stick thin. I'm always going to have curves. I love my curves! They're what attracted Ben to me in the first place. Why would I want to get rid of them?
I'm slowly learning to embrace the body that God has given me. I might be 150 lbs, but I'm determined to make that 150 lbs look good!