Trying to find a balance

The adjustment to my new work schedule has been a bit difficult, to say the least. This is the first steady job I've had since Adelae was born. That's almost 4.5 years. That's a LONG time to be with out a job. A really long time. My part-time job has turned into a 5 day a week job. Not every day is a full day, and that makes it almost harder in some ways. In case you were wondering, working 10-6 is not a good shift. You might think it would be, but it's not. At least I don't enjoy it.

I do, however, enjoy my job. I love the people I work with and I enjoy the work. I just haven't quite been able to balance work and home yet. When I get home, I'm so exhausted that I just want to sit and be still. Having 2 young children does not make sitting and being still very easy. And someone still has to cook dinner, clean up dinner, take care of the kids and maybe squeeze in some alone time with my husband. It hasn't been easy.

I feel like no matter what I do, something suffers. If I cut back on my hours at work, then Ben has to work overtime to make the money to pay the bills. If I spend more time with my husband, my kids suffer. If I spend more time with my kids, my husband suffers. I feel like I'm being pulled in about 20 different directions at once. Apparently the laundry and dishes still pile up, even if you don't have time to take care of them. It also doesn't help that it's summer. We are always so busy in the summer. We have something going on almost every day of every weekend. It's exhausting. I miss sitting around all day on Saturday and not doing anything. I miss sleeping in and morning cuddles with my girls.

I am extremely fortunate though. I have an amazing babysitter. The kids LOVE going to her house. In fact, there are days when I don't work and they STILL ask to go to the sitters. Thanks to her, I'm able to go to work and give my full attention to my job. I don't ever worry that my kids aren't being taken care of.

And then there's my husband. When I stayed at home, most of the house cleaning and cooking fell to me. That was my job. I hated it, but it was my job. Since I've started working he's pulled his weight and then some. We've started working on a schedule. On the nights when I come home early, I cook dinner and he does the dishes. On the nights when I come home late, he starts dinner and I do the dishes. I had to work this morning for a few hours. I came home to a pretty clean house, the kids were eating lunch and the dishes were done. He even did a load of his laundry. It was awesome. Especially since a nasty migraine decided to smack me upside the head in my last hour of work. After he spent the morning picking up the house, he went outside and started working on the railing for the slide platform he built a few weeks ago.

What did I do? I sat and read on my Nook. I might have even dozed for a little bit. Shh...don't tell. ;)

All in all, we're slowly getting into a rhythm. Will will make this work. I have faith that in another month, we'll be like a well oiled machine.


At least I hope so.

Watch out world!

After almost 2 years, I'm re-joining the work force! It's only part-time, but it's a job! I feel lucky to have found employment, especially with the economy the way it is. I would say that this means I'll be blogging less, but I rarely blog at all as it is! HA!

I know that I should probably be focusing on how the extra money is going to help out with paying the bills and buying the necessary things, but all I can think about is "Do I want a Kindle, a Nook Color, or a tablet of some sort?"

There are days..

..when I want to run from the house screaming. There are days when I'm pretty sure if I say "Brinna, NO!" one more time my head will explode. There are days when Adelae is so defiant I have to double check and make sure she hasn't turned into a teenager. There are days when Ben drives me absolutely up the wall. There are days I dream about being on a beach on a tropical island alone. No kids. No husband. No dog. No laundry. No dishes. No chores. Just me, the beach, a cold drink, and maybe a cabana boy thrown in for good measure.

There there are days when the girls play so nicely together. There are days when we play Dinosaur Train.


Or they work together to "cook" me a fabulous plastic breakfast.



Or they pose together for a quick picture.



There are days when Brinna will climb on my lap, throw her tiny arms around me and proclaim "BIIIG NUNNLES!" (which is Brinna speak for big snuggles) and squeeze me as tight as she can. I live for the unsolicited "I love you Mommy" from Adelae. Or the unprovoked hugs from Ben.

When the going gets rough, and believe me it does, I remember those days.

However, I'm not totally ruling out a trip to the Caribbean, but maybe I'll take Ben with me. Maybe.

3 minute in the life....

...of Brinna. This is a fairly typical conversation with Brinna. It's long, just over 3 minutes. I think it's unbearably adorable though :)

What does Easter really mean?

We don't talk about the Easter Bunny in our house. The only way Adelae knows about the EB (Easter Bunny) is what she's learned from school or her friends. I'm sure that people have asked her "Is the Easter Bunny coming to your house?" too. Brinna thinks the Easter Bunny is made of chocolate. Adelae knew that you were suppose to get presents on Easter, but she originally thought Jesus brought them. Ben told her it was the EB and she was a little skeptical.

Thanks to Children's Church and us talking about it at home, Adelae does know that Easter is the day that Jesus rose from the dead. I think we must be doing something right!

Since it's been awhile since I posted a Conversation with Adelae, I thought I'd post the one of her talking about Easter.

I don't have time

I can't decide if I've hit a huge case of writer's block or if I just don't have the motivation, but I feel like I don't have anything thing fun to say anymore. I don't even read blogs like I used to. Apparently having two little kids keeps me busy! Between the girls, weekend trips, projects, Adelae's preschool, Brinna's clingy stage and housework I just don't have any time left!

I suppose I could blog after the kids go to bed, but that's ME time. I prefer to sit on the couch and watch mindless TV and work on my cross stitch. (It's April and I STILL haven't finished Brinna's stocking that I was suppose to have done in December.) Or, let's be really honest, I just want to stare at the TV and veg. I don't want to think. I think I've almost hit the stage where I'd rather sit in a quiet room in the dark and just enjoy the silence. I miss silence.

You know what else I miss? Eating my ice cream by myself. Or eating warm food. I also miss being able to sit through an entire meal. It seems like the second my butt hits the chair I hear "I need a drink." "I finished my noodles, can I have more?" Or Brinna decides that she's "all done" and takes off like a shot out of her high chair. Let me tell you, she's FAST! I keep threatening to tie her to her chair.

Anyway..I just feel like there's not enough hours in the day. I hear it's only going to get worse at the kids get older. I'm thinking that I might have to give up sleeping. Or Facebook. But probably sleeping.

You want to do WHAT?

Adelae has been asking for a few months to have her hair cut short. I was VERY much against her having it cut. I figured it would eventually blow over. Not so much the case. Ben had a hair cut scheduled and he was going to take Adelae along for a quick trim. She begged and begged and begged me to let her have her hair cut short. I figured since she'd been asking for so long, I might as well let her do it. Again, THIS WAS NOT MY IDEA! She'd NEVER had a real hair cut. Sure, we'd done trims here and there, but never more than a couple of inches. I kept asking her "Are you SURE you want to do this? You know it's going to take a REALLY long time to grow back." She kept saying that she wanted it short, so I let her. I mean, it IS her hair after all.

This is the before picture. (You'll have to excuse the poor quality.I took all of these pictures with my phone.)



And (GULP!) the after. Where did all of her hair go?



But she likes it and that's all that matters :)


She was so excited that washing, combing and drying her hair only took a few minutes. She was ecstatic about the lack of tangles. Not to mention that she could eat dinner with out her hair pulled back. It's a super cute cut, I have to admit. But, WOW does it maker her look older!