Thursday, November 8, 2007

What's in a name?

As I begin the process of changing my name, I find it's much more difficult than I had thought. I love my husband, and am very proud to be his wife but it's still strange. It's strange to think that after 29 years I will no longer be a Wannemacher. I feel like I'm losing part of my identity. Despite it's many letters and all the hand cramps I get whan I have to sign more than one document, I like my last name. In the small town where I come from, it means something to be a Wannemacher. I wonder if other women feel the same way when they change their last name. I'm sure I'm not alone. I had considered hypenating my last name. Then I wrote it out. Can you imagine signing Wannemacher-Collins every time? Neither could I. I just sort of feel as if I've lost some important part of myself. I've always been an advocate of women changing their last name. I always thought "what's the big deal?" I think I get it now. I think I may be having some sort of minor identity crisis. I don't feel any different than I did yesterday, but suddenly I'm a whole new person....or at least the same old person with a different name. It's such a strange feeling. I can't quite describe it. However, it will be nice for all of us to have the same name. It really makes us feel more like a family. I know Ben is glad that I'm (almost) officially a Collins. I think he was worried that I was having second thoughts or something. I kept telling him it was a little too late to be having second thoughts about being his wife! As I slowly begin to get used to the idea of shedding one last name and adopting another, I'm optimistic. I mean, who is this Shaun Collins? I suppose she can be anything I want her to be!


tduval said...

hey _ good way to get your feelings out. Yes, as a woman who has changed her name a few times- original- Collins, then Boroff, then Collins, now Duval. I want to be a Collins. Not because I don't want to be part of my new family, you're right, you feel like you have given up your heritage. I;ll never change back, but the longing is still there. I hear ya sister!

casey said...

yep your completely normal to feel like that! I felt the same thing when I changed my last name and I only had it for 22 years. Plus if I'd have known ahead of time what a pita changing everything was going to be (drivers license, credit cards, insurance, school ect.) I don't think I would've (yeah right I would've!)

A. said...

I have to admit that I was kinda happy to go from 'Edds' to 'Stark'. No one - not even family friends! - pronounced our last name right. :-)