To move or not to move. That is the question

Awhile back, Ben applied for a job at the BP Refinery in Toledo. He received a call stating that he had passed the initial screening process and they would like him to test for a position. He received the sample test in the mail the other day. It looks like a test he will do extremely well at. We're not sure how much the job pays, but I'm hoping it's more than he's making now. The one and only problem...We'll have to move back to OH. Now, as many of you know, I'm not such a big fan of Fort Wayne. For some reason this city just doesn't feel like home to either of us. We haven't really made any friends to speak of, not to mention the school systems here are pretty crappy. There is a large part of the city that is less then desireable to raise a child in. Now that we have a little one, we have to think of things like school systems and neighborhood placement. The bottom line is, I miss Ohio. I miss the familiarity of the Toledo, Bowling Green area. I miss my friends! Granted, most of them have moved, but there are still a few there. I sort of feel like I'm living in someone else's skin. I love that I'm so close to my family, but I don't really see them as much as I thought I would. I guess I imagined life differently here. We've been here for almost 2 years and I just don't see things getting any better. I've always said that one of the biggest mistakes we made was moving here. I left a great job to move. We moved to Indiana on a whim. I'm still not sure what we were thinking. We were actually going to move back after a year, but then Ben got his job at Didier. We were bound and determined to make this city our home, one way or another. But, now this other job opportunity has presented itself. We'd be foolish to turn it down. We don't even know if he'll get the job, but we're excited about going "home." Please keep your fingers crossed for us! I know that Ben really wants this job, and that means that I want it too!

Adelae's birth story...retold

It's been almost a year since Adelae was born. I frequently think about what I was doing a year ago. I was very very pregnant and miserable! I could NOT wait to give birth. I just wanted my body back! So, almost one year later, here is Adelae's birth story retold.

It all started in Dec. I went to the doc and had severly high blood pressure. They immediately sent me to the hossy for overnight monitoring. They were convinced I was going to have her that day. Turns out, I wasn't spilling any protein, so they sent me home. No special diet or bedrest. I still don't know what they were thinking. I really think my doc was a quack. I was going to a clinic at the time, so I don't think they really knew what they were doing. As my 3rd trimester continued, my blood pressure just kept climbing. An average for me was 150/110. AVERAGE! I didn't realize it at the time, but that was REALLY bad! So, they put me on a bp medicine. Still no instructions to watch my diet or stay off my feet. I was working at Best Buy at the time, so I was constantly on my feet. I started retaining water REALLY bad. My ankles were nonexistant and my feet and hands were the size of balloons. I couldn't even wear normal shoes. My legs and feet started pitting really bad about the middle of my 3rd trimester (jan). Pitting is when you press on your skin and the print still stays after you remove your hand. I was still testing neg. for proteins. At my 38 week checkup they FINALLY decided to send me to the hossy to be induced. When I got to the hossy, they tested my protein and it was at a +4. The nurse said "There's no way you're leaving this hospital without having this baby." Nothing like scaring the crap out of me!
Adelae was as stubborn in womb has she has been out of it. They did Cervadil on Mon night and it didn't help. So, all day Tuesday I was on Pitocin. Keep in mind I wasn't allowed to eat anything but clear broth, jello and water this whole time. So, little food on Monday, no food on Tuesday. The Pitocin never put me into a regular labor pattern. And my blood pressure was still climbing. By Tuesday morning I was on complete bedrest and I was being pumped full on Magnesium to prevent seizures. At this point my bp was about 170/130. So, the Pitocin didn't work. They did another round of Cervadil and it didn't work..again. I remember the nurse checking me on Wed. morning and I still hadn't dilated at all and my cervix hadn't thinned out at all. I was an emotional wreck.
Not to mention, this was all during a MAJOR snowstorm. In my room were me (of course), Ben and my mom. Not fun in a tiny little hospital room. Nobody could leave because we didn't know when the baby would come and the roads were not driveable. For those you who know me, food is a major thing. If I'm hungry, I'm cranky. And I'm a caffeine junky. I was desperate for a real meal, a cup of coffee and a shower. I could have dealt with everything else if I'd just been able to take a freakin' shower.
So, Wednesday morning comes and no change. I blurted out, "Just get this kid OUT of me NOW!" Not too long after the doc comes in, this was about 9:00 am. He says that he thinks the best thing for me is to have a c-section. We knew all along that it was a possibility, but I still wasn't ready to hear those words. Ben and I discussed it, and we decided that was the best thing. It seemed like in the blink of an eye the anesthesiologist was in there and I was signing all kinds of consent forms. Off we went to the operating room. Now, I've never had any surgery (that I can remember) so as soon as I saw the operating room I totally freaked out. I started hypervenalating. They get me in the room and the anesthesiologist couldn't get the spinal in. He hit my vertebrae and bent the needle into an "s" shape. Not cool!!!! Not to mention, they didn't have a full staff of nurses, so there was only ONE nurse in there, when there's suppose to be at least two, if not three. I was afraid they were going to have Ben suit up! We went into the operating room at about 11:00 and at 11:27 Adelae was born.
But wait...there's more!!!!
I started hemoragging almost immediately after the surgery. Again, I didn't realize how bad it was till after the fact. They gave me MORE Pitocin to help my uterus contract. Thank God it worked. I didn't know it at the time (my delivery nurse told me this later), but they were prepped and ready to do a hysterectomy on me. I'm so glad that didn't have to happen. I was on bedrest for the remainder of Wednesday and part of Thursday. Walking after being in bed for so long was one of the most painful things I've ever had to do. I refused to take anything stronger than 800mg Ibuprfen. I wanted to breastfeed and I didn't think the Darvocet would be good for the baby. Luckily I'm tough
So, who thinks I'm crazy for wanting to do it all again?

Online friends are a life saver

I discovered a wonderful group of online friends shortly after Adelae was born. As a stay at home mom I don't get a lot of interaction with the outside world. I was very heasitant about joining an online community. I found a group of women who all have kids about the same age as Adelae. I started posting more to chat about kids than anything else. In the past 10 months these women have been my lifeline. We talk about our kids, as all mom's will do, but we chat about so much more. It's a place I can go to discuss my marriage, my daughter, the pros and cons of staying at home and so much more. They are my friends. In fact, I consider them very close friends. I have had the wonderful oppourtunity to meet several of them in person. When I need advice, support or jut a place to vent, they are always there. They are non-judgemental and always supportive. I love them all. Not to mention, they provide great comic relief on more than one occasion. I chat with them several times a day. Currently, one of my friends is going through a very hard time. Her mother has been diagnosed with cancer. I ask you all to keep Melissa and her mother in your thoughts and prayers. My only regret is that she lives in Florida and I can't be there in person to support her. To all my Fab Feb Moms...I love you and cherish your friendship. Thank you all so much for being there for me. (((HUGS))) to you all.


Me and some of my Fab Feb Mom friends.

Back into the work force

I realized the other day that I have been a stay at home mom for over a year! Wow! I don't think I've ever gone this long without a job. Not that staying at home isn't a job. I realize that I used to be a such a social person, and now..not so much. I think it's time to get back into the work force. Not to mention that the money would really help out. Ben works so hard and it seems a little unfair that he shoulders all the financial burden of this family. Plus, it would be nice to have a little extra money. We have to move in July and it would be nice to be able to buy a house. We've come to the realization that it's just not a possibility at this time. I'm seriously considering going back into teaching. I'll probably just sub for this semester at least. I'm hoping over the summer I can get re-certified and start looking for some jobs. With Ben's work schedule, it's really a possibility. I hate to put my little one in daycare, but we'll see what happens. I know the teaching market around here isn't nearly as tough as it was in Ohio. After all, I did spend 5years and lots of money to get my degree. It would be kind of nice to use it again. I suppose I shouldn't let one bad experience totally color the way I feel about teaching. I still have a passion for the job. I know I would be a wonderful teacher. A lot of my heasitation comes froma fear of the unknown. I know it will be a lot of work, but I think I can do it. I'm sure my parents would be glad to see me put my education to work for me. Wish me luck!

Sleeping and Fighting

I'm trying to post a little more regularly. I'm not really sure if anyone actually reads this thing though. I know people do when I tell them about it, but do people actually check in on a regular basis?

I am proud to announce that my little one has discovered the art of sleeping through the night. It's been going on for about 3 weeks now. It's wonderful!!!! One night, she just decided that she was going to sleep all night. She's getting really good at putting herself back to sleep too. YAY!!! I get 8+ hours of sleep most nights. It's wonderful to feel refreshed in the morning. I certainly don't miss the midnight feedings. Of course, I still get up once to check on her. I don't plan it, it just happens.

So, most people know that we've had some really crappy neighbors here in this apt. A few months ago a young couple moved in next door. I was really hoping they were going to be nice and quiet. No such luck. They fight ALL the time. And not just arguing, but full-blown fighting and screaming. Not such a big deal...until they take it into the hallway. Then we can hear it and if Adelae's napping or sleeping, it wakes her up. Last night (well this morning I guess) at about 4:30 am I shot upright in bed. Ben wasn't there. I am always a little dioriented if I wake up and he's not there. He was crouched down by the window looking at the neighbors fighting. It must have been really loud to wake up Ben (he's a very sound sleeper). He said they were screaming and slamming car doors. They were at it bright and early this morning too. My question is....why do people fight literally ALL the time for HOURS on end and still stay in the relationship? I had a relationship where we ALWAYS fought when we drank, but we got along most of the other time. It's so sad to hear them put themselves through that. I'm nosy, and none of this is really my business, but what can I say ;)

Havin' a ball

I have decided that all kids are a little crazy. Adelae has all these expensive toys that light up, make noises, and sing. Think she wants anything to do with them? NOPE! She wants to play with her books and her ball. Audrey got Adelae a giant (well giant to Adelae) pink ball. That's all the kid wants to play with now. If we hold it up and away from her, she'll actually stand and walk to it. Her other favorite thing is to lay on her back and kick the ball at us.


We also watched the Buckeyes last night. It was a sad state of affairs. I have to say that I think the refs were a little biased towards LSU. Anyway, it was a great occassion for the whole family to dress in our OSU gear. Sorry if we look a little cheesy, it was late.

Hole? What hole?!

Boy has it been a busy day around here! First thing this morning I realized that my phone is busted. I still can't figure out what's wrong with it. I guess that'll teach me to let my little one play with it. At least she was quiet for a few minutes!! We had to take Adelae to the pediatric cardiologist today. Of course, I leave the directions at home, so we get totally lost. Thank goodness for the really nice guy at Krispy Kreme (not to mention their delicious coffee!) who gave me the proper directions. Keep in mind, not only were we lost, but also almost out of gas. I really thought we were going to kill each other! Neither of us do well when we're lost and running late. It's a good thing we love each other. That's one thing that I love about my husband. When we bicker over stupid things, as soon as we hug, it's all done and over with.

After we get to the cardiologist (10 mins late) we have to wait forever, as you do in drs offices. They finally get us back to a room, and we have to wait even longer! They weighed Adelae and she was 19 lbs (2 lbs gained in a month!) and 29 1/4 inches long! She gets her height from her daddy. Then we wait longer. It was getting a little frustrating! Finally, we get to the echo room. The gentleman that did her echo cardiogram was wonderful. Adelae drank her bottle and cuddled her Sally (Thanks Aunt Jean!) and was really wonderful through the whole thing. Here comes the good part.......the hole is totally gone! :) He gave her a total clean bill of health!! YIPPEE! I didn't realize how worried I was until it was over.

As we were sitting around waiting, I decided to check Adelae's gums to see how her teeth were doing. Ben says I'm a little obsessive about checking for teeth. I noticed that her little gums had a blister! That's a sure sign of her teeth coming through. I'm hoping that she'll get them soon. I'd love for her to be able to eat something besides pasta and chicken.

So, after our trip to the dr, lunch and the grocery store, we finally get home. Adelae decided that she wanted to try walking! She's still only taking a couple of steps at a time, but she's doing it on a more regular basis. She was so pleased with herself. Mommy and Daddy were so very proud of our little girl. She's truly not a little baby anymore *sniff, sniff* Does that mean it's time for #2?